Things aren't going as well as they could

I know few if any people like to hear me whine, and frankly I've not been updating simply because things have not been going as well as I hoped they would and it's kind of hard not to whimper a little bit.

But I do see the value of this page as a venting forum and I'm sure people that don't like me will get a chuckle out of my situation.

First off, “Emotion and Reason” might be the last Zorch Boomhauer recording ever. The ASIO interface I use to make recordings is dead, and I can't afford to replace it at this point. And even if I could, just between you and I, “Emotion and Reason” is not selling as well as I hoped. I feel it's the best sounding collection I've ever made, and has a very strong set of songs included. However, sales are really, really disappointing. 23 Copies of the collection have been downloaded this month (it's release month) and while some might think that is pretty good, on the day I released “Shadow and Light” it sold 60 copies on day one.

Mp3 collection sale in general have slumped. This month I'm just about scratching my way over one gig downloaded, compared to 2-4 gigs I've sold in the past.

Second Life is notoriously slow in Summer, but this has been the most grim summer I've ever had to endure.

Compounding the problem is my increased need for money. The Person I live with had a double by pass surgery, and could not work for three months. She is back to work now, but we are both so far behind we find ourselves neck deep in soul crushing poverty.

Tips are way down, but that seems to be the case in Second Life at this time. When other artist have tips jars that display totals, I find I do better then they do in most cases, but my better total is still pretty grim. If I said I'm averaging 1,500 L$ a show, I think that might be a bit high. Putting that in to perspective, it's about 6.00 $ USA, per-show. While you might call that an hourly wage, I actually invest more then an hour in every show. I do show up for show 30 minuets early so each show is about 90 minutes of my time.

I am quite discouraged, but I'm far from quitting. Remember I'm too stupid to quit. And besides, what else can I do that would not drive me crazy? I'm a musician, I'm a songwriter. I honestly believe I'm one of the great songwriters in the world today. I'm not going to ditch it all because I'm starving. I'm not about to start flipping burgers to make a few bucks. I should, in a more perfect world make a decent wage for what I do. But until that happens I just have to tough it out.

I'm looking into other avenues of making a few bucks with music, and keeping my fingers crossed. The biggest problem I have with this grinding poverty... outside of paying bills, is I really have limited options. Just about anything I might want to explore requires some kind of investment up front. Example, there is an acoustic rivalry contest going on at the White Mule, and I would figure I've got as good a shot to win it as anybody. However, I don't have the gas money to get to down town Columbia.

I also understand part of my problem in Second Life is my unwillingness to “Play the game”. I'm not fun, I'm not sociable and I don't do anything to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't see that changing. That isn't who I am, and I'm somewhat socially retarded. So in the end, I endeavor to persevere.