Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Crazy people have bad ideas

Okay, I've said I might be crazy. But technically, I don't think I am. I'm pretty sure that my thoughts and actions conform to something that might just work in reality. Yes I'll admit, I see things as they might be and say “Why not”. But that makes me a visionary.

Today I want to share something with you that actually left me dumbfounded. It was so steeped in CRAZY, that my sane mind could hardly grasp how demented you would have to be to think this is a good idea.

I've in the past suggested that “Music Not Politics” (the ironic joke name), AKA MNP (more appropriate, what do you think those letters stand for), or more to the point MNP's founder and Leader (That is Moody for all you playing at home) are CRAZY.

I've also suggested that Moody is dangerous, because she sells her demented concepts to people whom embrace “Magical thinking”. When a suggestion fits your desired world view, you accept it no matter how unreasonable it might be, you are a magical thinker.

Today somebody directed me to the Music Not Politics marketing page. It is probably the most demented thing I've ever seen posted on the internet.

Let me share a bit of the insanity that passes for business plan with MNP (Mostly Nutty People).

Incredibly expensive banner ads.

* The following is copied and pasted from the MNP Marketing web site, in other words I'm not making this up *

Offer 7 WEBSITE BANNER - this your company logo banner posted on the website with a link to your site and a brief description of your company, product or service
(All fees are monthly)
MUSIC NOT POLITICS Website (up to 1,000 views daily) $100.00
MUSIC NOT POLITICS Records Website (up to 500 views daily) $25.00
Artist Website (up to 150 views daily) $15.00

*End Copy and paste *

Now I don't know if you have every shopped for online advertizing. But the business model is you are charged for each impression and more for each click through. So you pay for what you get. Most the time the fee is something along the line of 00.001 (one tenth of a penny) for an Impression (your ad was displayed on the web page when somebody visited it, they may have noticed it or not). You get charged more when people click though. This means somebody saw your ad, and clicked on it. Even that is less then a penny. Most ad revenue is driven by the fact the web site gets significant traffic. MNP does not have significant traffic.
You might be impressed by the 1,000 views a day... but it doesn't say that. It says “UP TO” 1,000 views. It also does not differentiate between views and unique views. In other words, sit at your computer, load your web site up and hit refresh 1.000 times you have 1,000 views.

Okay time for math. If the MNP web site got 1.000 unique views every day for a 30 day month, at the standard fee of 00.001 per impression it would cost you 30.00$ a month. The flat fee for hosting your ad for a month is 100.00 $ and that makes it more then three times more expensive then the standard model rate.

I feel I should mention it's very unlikely that The MNP web site gets 1,000 views every day.

You'll notice it's cheaper to host an ad at the MNP Records web site and according to the MPN price sheet it gets “UP TO” 500 views per day. However... if you look up MNP Records on Google, there isn't any web site listed for Music Not Politics records. I'm not saying the web site doesn't exist, I'm just saying it's flying way under Goggles radar.

I did find a Reverb Nation page for Music Not Politics Records, and frankly I'm surprised to see they actually have a recording available. Just one mind you, and it's by Mike Majesty featuring Kevin M Thomas. For those of you not aware of the fantasy history of MNP records, There debut release was suppose to be a Kevin M Thomas project. I guess this is it.

Probably not what people were expecting, but I am frankly surprised to see anything at all.

Mike's Reverb Nation page (Not the MNP Reverb Nation page) shows he has 402 fans (Way to go Mike) and 18 plays. Wait a minute.... that doesn't sound right... but numbers don't lie. Seems Mike gains 22.33333 fans for each play of a song. Man... he must be A-FREAKING-MAZING.

You could write all this off as Moody's lack of experience in real world advertizing. If you don't know what other people charge how do you know if your prices are a tad high? That would make her incompetent, and naive, but not CRAZY.

So how about this?

* The following is copied and pasted from the MNP Marketing web site, in other words I'm not making this up *

Offer 1 ON MIC PLUG - Our artist will plug your company, service, product during his live performance(s) based on the level you choose
(All fees are monthly)
1 Time a month $50.00
7 Times a month $300.00
14 Times a month $550.00
21 Times a month $800.00
28 Times a month $1,000.00

*End Copy and paste *

This is a shout out that cost 50$ if you do it once. The average fee most musicians charge is around 20$ for an hour. This makes it more profitable to just sit behind a mic and give shout outs. Should a musician turn themselves into a pitch man to make MNP rich? Should MPN make more money per-show then the artist?

I'm sure Moody thinks so. But I'm inclined to believe if MNP makes any money at all, it all gets spent on gummy bears and Cheer-wine.

But it does get even more CRAZY. Check this out.

* The following is copied and pasted from the MNP Marketing web site, in other words I'm not making this up *

Offer 4 SPECIAL ATTIRE - performer will wear specially designed outfits including your company logo and website or telephone number at his live shows
One Time Set Up Fee $300.00
(All fees are monthly)
1 Time a month $55.00
7 Times a month $310.00
14 Times a month $560.00
21 Times a month $820.00
28 Times a month $1,000.00

*End Copy and paste *

Wow, the set up fee is 300$. when was the last time you spent 90,000 L$ on an outfit? I could say more, but do I have to? These people are out of touch. These people are CRAZY.

If you need to check it out (there is more) head over to http://musicnotpoliticsmarketing.com/The_Right_Plan_For_You.html

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