A strange tale

I've been relatively well behaved lately. I've managed to keep my mouth shut about all kinds of bullshit and I fully intend to maintain my “No comment” demeanor about a variety of subjects transpiring in Second Life. However, I do love spinning a good yarn and one happened the other night. I'll give you the story without involving the names of the Villains or victims. On the other hand Heroes get full credit.

It's Saturday night, I've got two shows to play and I log in. shortly after my arrival I get an IM from someone we'll call “Hostess girl” asking me if I can help her out. It seems she has a cancellation and she is wondering if I can cover for that show. I tell her I would be free to cover the show, but wasn't sure I would be allowed to do so, because I had a bit of history with the Sim owner and a while back he had kicked me off the Sim.

Now I feel I should point out in my defence, when I was kicked off the Sim, I was totally minding my own business, just listening to music and IM-ing a friend. I was kick simply because of something I did a long, long, long time ago...... I get a wistful far away look, the blog page starts to wobble and we fade into a scene pre-historic. Cue the pterodactyl “SCREEEEEEEEEEEE”.

I'm a younger, more optimistic Zorch, playing a show at Guthrie's. I still believe mankind is fundamentally good, and not all hot women are crazy. In step Splat Wonderoos, no that isn't his real fake name because I never use people's real fake names. The primary reason being nobody knows who these people are anyway, so why start the clock on their 15 second of fame?

Anyway... Splat starts shouting in the room, “I'm going to have a music award thingy and everybody can join my web page... for free... and I'm going to save the music scene in Second Life”. Had he done this once, it would have been awkward, but he just kept pimping his lame ass award thingy... that was going to save the music scene in second life, and asking people to join his web site for free. I received several messages suggesting I tell him to shut the fuck up over the stream. So I did that. Splat didn't even blink, he just kept spamming the room. He kept droning on “I'm going to save music in second life and my penis isn't really small it's just very cold in here”.

Judging by the number of messages I received, he was annoying people, and disrupting my show. I did the responsible thing and had him booted from the venue. Nothing personal Splat, but don't pimp your lame ass shit at my show. The people attending the show did so to hear the rock star, not the latest in a series of self appointed music scene saviors.

Simply stated, when people are disruptive and do not stop after warned to do so, they should be forcibly ejected from the venue.

The blog page starts to wobble again, we fast forward to last Saturday night, the pterodactyl morphs into a Jet plane with red, white and blue streamers behind it... “USA,USA,USA”!!!!

I'm a more mature, still sexy, more cynical Zorch, and after the better part of two hours, hostess girl has finally talked to the venue owner and it seems I have the green light to play the show that will help hostess girl fill the gap in her schedule. Yeah... the good guys win... or do they.

It's 10;30 PM and the show is suppose to start at 11 PM SLT. I make a point to be on site a half an hour before the show, but as I attempt to get to hostess girls event, it seems I can't. I get a message that I'm banned from the Sim.

It seems the Venue owner and the Sim owner are not on the same page, and the Sim owner is (cue ominous pipe organ chord) Splat Wonderoos.

Oh bother.

I'm sure any other musician would have just left hostess girl to her own devices and mumbled something about it not being his or her problem. But I'm NOT any other musician, I'm one particular musician. I AM ZORK.... fuck.... I mean I AM ZORCH. Fuck with me at your own peril.

I told hostess girl not to worry I would talk to Splat and sort this all out. I figured since I've grow more mature and sexy during the intervening years, I was sure Splat had done so as well.

Well... not the sexy part, just the more mature part. But I was wrong.

I told Splat, “you really aren't screwing me over on this, Joy hasn't shown you any disrespect, so why don't you let me on the Sim tonight, and we'll all know better in the future, She's having a rough time with cancellations. Let's not give her another one”

Splat just insisted I apologize.

I told him I couldn't give him a sincere apology, would an insincere one suffice?

Okay, being reasonable wasn't working. Does being reasonable ever work? But if we have learned anything from “The Village People” and Olympian “Bruce Jenner”, it's “YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC”.

I tell hostess girl I'll play the show remotely. She could just put my stream in the the parcel media, and I would play the show from a Sim I could get on. I would be playing for her venue, but from another location.

Lexie went over to the Sim to be my eyes on the grown, and the Proxy Zorch standing on stage playing guitar. She put on a tag that said “I am Zorch Boomhauer”. Noma Falta did the same. I told you I would mention the heroes.

The show went on for 30 minute before Splat figured out what was going on. People were flocking the venue to see this curious Lexie/Noma/Zorch hybrid. I'm sure that is what peeked Splat's interest, it's safe to say the self appointed savior of the music scene doesn't even listen to the stream at the venue that happens to be on his Sim.

Splat pulled the stream, and banned hostess girl. But before he could pull the plug, we did get the SLURL for the actual location I was playing at up in public chat. People just poofed to the new location.

Since I could not be on the Sim, I could not rez my tip jar. But I did suggest people attending the concert while it was at the remote location tip the venue. It's not the venue owners fault I can't be there.
I provided a good show in spite of the petty mandates of Splat Wonderoos. I did my job. I played the show as best I could and when Splat tried to stop it, we just moved to another location.

So I ask you this. Who was disruptive? Who was petty? Who really deserves to be banned?

Now when I write a blog like this, people assume I do so in order to address or change something. That isn't the case at all. This is just a grand tale of intrigue and and futile gestures. Bad men doing nasty things and the good people rising up to moon him and run away giggling madly.

And in the end, the hero attends his blog and has a tale to tell.

And moderator powers over the comments section.

BOOOOOOOSH