I'm aware of the rules, I just choose to break them

A while back a friend of mine need to speak to me about how I was destroying my career. About another week later, yet another friend took me aside and seemed to be reading off the same page, predicting soon, nobody would book me and if anybody did book me, nobody would come to the show.

I think both of these friend were under the impression I was not paying attention and a Second Life Music Career(?) is basically just part of the game. Games have rule, break the rules and you lose the game.

Let me break down the rules and if you choose to follow them, in about three months you'll be doing far better then I am.

Rule #1 COVER SONGS

The vast majority of people don't give a rats ass about music. Most of these people make up the community of people that come to see show. While that might seem contradictory, it's not. People in general would rather hear a horrible cover song they KNOW, than a perfectly played original song.

The real cardinal point to this rule is it must be a song EVERYBODY knows. No obscure Johnathan Colten songs.

It's a good idea to have a song list people can request songs from. Try to make the show much like a McDonals drive through window.

Performer: Welcome to my show, may I take your order please?

Listener: Yes, I'd like …. ummm... “Wish you were here”.

Performer: Would you like “Halleluiah” with that?

Listener: I don't know, I'm trying to cut down.... oh... yeah sure give me a side order of “Halleluiah”.

Fun fact about 1# : Most people are blissfully unaware they are musically retarded. Quite a few of them are performers on Second Life.

Rule #2 Piss in the ocean of mediocrity

Always praise the performer before you and hype the performer coming on after you regardless of talent. Of course doing this means your opinions are meaningless, but why should your opinions have meaning when you music doesn't?

It's also a good idea to suggest the person following you is way better then you are. This makes you seem “Humble” and humility is very appealing to the average musical retard because they have nothing of worth to offer, so why should you be arrogant?

Your mantra should be, “Everybody is super great... except me, I suck”. Don't worry, people will be shouting out how great you are... even if you actually do suck. They have emotes all cued up just to do that.

Rule # 3 Greet people the moment they enter the sim.

All the mega popular people do this. It doesn't matter if you are in the middle of a song, just slip it in there. “Baby baby don't get... Hello Keplerdangle welcome to the show...hooked on me”.

While you might think this interrupts the song, don't worry about that, everybody KNOWS the song (see rule #1) and will wait for you to return to it. What is important is that each and every person is welcomed.

The reason you greet people is the same reason you play songs they know. You want them to feel as welcome as possible and make attending the show as effort free as... well not attending the show.

They went though all the trouble to click a link to get there, cut them some slack and make them feel welcome.

Rule # 4 Hang out

Second Life is all about being social. So make sure you show up at other peoples shows with your “I am a Second Life Muso” tag on display. For those of you wondering “Muso” is accepted Second Life slang for Musician.

In most cases, even if the performer has never even heard of you, much less heard you play, they will probably give you a shout out. While that might strike you as odd, it's in compliance with rules 2 and 3. In many cases they will tell everybody how superior you are to them and how everybody should catch your show.

Of course you should already be emoting wildly. “Dude you RAWK”.

Rule # 5 Build your group

When it comes to groups, size matters. Get some kind of doohickey that auto invites people to your group and let it work it's magic. If you play somewhere with a bunch of newbies you can build your group quickly because they click yes on everything.

Big groups allow you to demand big fees, and in the end, it's all about your fees.

Rule #6 The game is more fun when more people play

Anybody that can play a few chords and or has some back up tracks is a performer on Second life. While this is a lot of people, Those that don't wish to learn to play a musical instrument and or buy back of tracks should not be excluded from the fun.

Think of it this way, if every performer in Second Life had a “Manager”, that would double the number of people playing the music scene game. Some performers have a staff, more then one person tagging along on their participation coattails.

While you can't say how great you think you are, your staff has no limitations to how great they can say you are. You can stand on stage and whine about how much you suck, and they can emote like crazy monkeys about how you are the second coming.


Rule # 7, the hang out to perform ratio should be 15:1

Seriously, you should attend 15 shows for every show you actually play. It's far more important for you to “Be seen” then “Be heard”. Music doesn't matter in your Second Life Music scene game. What matter is your involvement in the scene.

While this might leave you playing two shows a week, they will be well attended providing you follow all the rules to the letter.

The less available you are, the more value your show have. In other word, if you only play 2 PM on Thursday, people that want to see you must be at your show at 2 PM Thursday.


Bringing it all together

You've been seen everywhere, you been promoting not your talent, but your humility. You've been participating, and supportive. You've developed your group, and you have integrated whatever staff you can cobble together.

It's Thursday at 2 PM and the show is on. Before you start you have one of your staff send a notice, remember you can't say you are great, but they can. Put a staff member between you and your announcement.

As the show starts take a moment to mention by name the people already there. This won't take long because in most cases people don't make it to be start of a show. Your staff will be there, be sure to say how indispensable they are and mention them each by name. Then mention the Venue staff and compliment them on what a great job they are doing (the show hasn't even started yet, but they are doing a GREAT job).

Be sure your auto group invitation device is in place.

As you play the first song, be sure to greet everybody that pops in. Not only will this make them feel welcome, but it will probably keep them from Popping out. People feel obligated when you notice them and mention them by name.

Speaking of obligation, because you have been hanging out so much, other musicians will be attending your show. Be sure to pick them out of the crowd and mention how GREAT they are. Remember they are padding your numbers and working on their “Hang out to perform ratio”. Be sure to mention what a kick ass show they put on and recommend that people attend their next show.

Be sure to mention your song list so people can request songs. Forget all about format, and or pacing, just take orders and be sure to dedicate the songs properly.

Watch the clock, mention how great the performer coming up after you is, finish the last song, collect your fee... be sure to act somewhat sheepish about collecting it.

There you go, you want to play the game, play by the rules. Second Life is so simple people with no discernible talent can thrive. They do it every day, and because most people don't give a shit about music... it works.

This might seem a bit cynical. But I'm not here to underline how disingenuous this all is. All I'm doing is making it clear, I'm aware of what the rules are. I know how the game works.

I choose to be a failure at the game because I choose not to play it. A handful of people care about my music. But those that do, do so for the right reasons. I make ridiculous demands upon the listener, but I also do a freaking transcendent show. Those willing to listen, those willing to hear song they are not instantly familiar with are rewarded.

It's more then entertainment or a social centerpiece. It's a bit of my soul.

I am the bastard son of Howard Roark. Could you expect me to conform to the standards of those whom make a game out of the profession I consider my calling?