WTF????

You know I'm confused as hell. Seriously, no kidding, why aren't I the biggest thing on Second Life?

I should be so big on Second Life, I'm TOO BIG for Second Life. But I'm not big on Second Life at all, I'm tiny. Why is that?

I know you might think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not. Allow me to try and twist your head around to see things from my perspective.

On June 20th, I played a two hour set of all original music at the Jester Inn. During that two hour set I didn't even come close to scraping the bottom of the barrel. It was a solid two hours of amazing songs.

Now I know there are “ROCK STARS” that do three hour shows, but most of those draw music from a decades long career. My two hour show comprised of music written during my musical adventures in Second Life. How many songwriters could pepper a two hour set with nothing but original music collected over a two year three month period and have it be all amazing tunes?

By the by, I'm about to play my 1,600 show online in the next few days. It's not like I haven't been working my ass off. I've recorded an impressive number of MP3 collections and all this falls between March 16th 2008 and now.

I'm prolific, hard working and fooking brilliant. Why isn't that enough to be mega successful?

I'm well aware I don't play by the rules, but really, isn't being a musical visionary enough to get you a slice of the pie? Are people so use to the mediocre and mundane that talent makes them uncomfortable?

Now I'm sure there are a few out there reading this wondering what my state of mind is. Am I depressed, discouraged, suicidal, ready to chuck it all. Well stop wondering, what I am is confused.

I feel I should state that I'm not questioning my musical talent. My music is freaking amazing. What I do is totally iconic. And I know that makes people uncomfortable, but if I was prone to doubting I would be doing something else by now.

You know what? I could use some help. Not advice, actual help. But what are the odds on that happening? I could use a real life brake about now. I've been working hard, and I'm ready to make the most of any opportunity that comes my way, provided I can afford to take advantage of that opportunity.

So consider this a cry for help, and not advice. If you have something for me, feel free to drop me a line at zorchboomhauer at gmail dot com. I already check my email about 100 times a day hoping to find something promising. Perhaps you can provide it.

In the mean time I'll just keep on keeping on. I've got nothing better to do.