The last two entries in this blog were remarkable similar. Imagine that, I must have something on my mind. But let me talk about something shockingly personal. Something that has been on my mind for a long time.Once upon a time, there was a musician in Second Life. Let's call him “Perry-grim”. That is not his real fake name, but close enough. I'm not picking on him, and I'm not pointing at him, but those that can make the tenuous connection will understand.
Speaking bluntly, Perry-grim was one of the most brilliant musicians I've ever heard. He was, “The Real Deal ™ ” . In a world full of posers, musical ideas sprung forth from Perry-grim's guitar like water from an open fire hydrant.
Perry-grim was a genius, but sometimes the greatest gifts come in broken packages. Suffice it to say he had serious physiological issues. He was openly paranoid and even the kindest words could be interpreted as slanderous from his point of view.
Of course, his musical career ended... unpleasantly. He freaked out and made a point to alienate every single person that ever offered him a hand in friendship. I'm not saying he misspoke, or made a gaff. He attacked those that cared most for him, pointing out every inadequacy real or imagined, and then twisted any supportive statement towards him as some kind of counter attack.
I often wonder if he could have continued his musical adventures in Second Life. Was it inevitable that he would explode into an emotional fire ball?
Given his condition, you might think he would, but there are bunches of mentally ill people functioning on Second Life. So what drove him to self destruction?
Your guess is as good as mine, but here is my guess in case you are interested.
It takes a huge emotional toll to cast your pearls before swine.
I remember watching him follow some mediocre “Popular dude”, and before his first song was over the majority of the audience had poofed. He was iconic, original, and brilliant, those three things can clear a sim faster then a re-start notice.
I can understand how someone with a bent towards paranoia might read something into that. He knows he's good. He might even be aware he's great. Something must be going on. Somebody MUST be derailing his efforts. But in the end, the only one that could prevent his success was him, and eventually he set his own playhouse on fire and watched it burn.
I can really understand how he must of felt. I've seen Sims clear before my first song was over after following some cookie cutter balladeer. No matter how well grounded you are it does sting. It feels like people aren't even giving you a chance. In most cases they don't. They already have plans for what they are going to do after Mr. Cookie Cutter ends his set, and it's pointless to take it personally.
Recently a so-called friend of mine informed me of this new guy I've never heard of being the next BIG THING in Second Life. I'm glad she's impressed. But I've heard of Justin Biber, and I haven't heard of this guy. I don't measure myself against tweener singing idols so why would I give a rats ass about the next big thing in Second Life. I'm not a big thing in second life at all. But I'm well aware I should be.
Some would suggest I'm bitter, but it's more of a case of swallowing a bitter pill. It's better to be lucky then smart and it's better to be popular then talented. I'm not lucky or popular, and unlike Perry-grim, there are people that stick pins in their Zorch voodoo dolls every day. I know I have enemies not because I imagine them, but because I've been told I have them. Of course I expect to have a few Ellsworth Tooheys.
But I'm not inclined to quit, and you want to know why? Plain old fashion stupidity. I'm too stupid to quit. Although I'm well acquainted with the facts, and I know the world hates a genius, I soldier on. A few people get me, and they get me on my terms. I've every reason to expect the worse, but I won't cave in. Quitters never stand atop the Wynand building.
In the end, the story of Perry-grim is a cautionary tale. It exposes the dread consequence of having a gift the vast majority of people don't understand, and caring what they think. Seeking validation in the eyes of others. If you have a vision stand by it. If you have a gift be a diligent steward of that gift. When you are true to yourself, those that “Get you” do so for the right reasons and you will be rewarded.
2 comments:
;) I like it too, sdas.
the world (and history) is full of artists who battle with mental illness. as such, they really aren't cautionary tales...they are just people who see and feel things differently from the norm. unfortunately, self-implosion is often a residual effect of the illness. perry was and is a genius...i've had many conversations with him. i suspect when he gets his meds regulated, he'll be back...at least thats my hope; the world needs to hear his music. bottom line, in terms of this blog entry, unless you suffer from a mental illness, i wouldn't really worry about your fears.
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