I’m not a successful person in the eyes of the world. This was always one of the sticking point between my father and I. However, whatever I’ve set my mind to do, in time I’ve done. I’ve been told a few dozen times what I intended to do would never work, then achieved it.Financially I’m threading water, and the meager monies I earn in Second Life have a profound effect on my lifestyle. They really do supplement my grocery budget, and without the extra cash flow I’m not sure how I would make ends meet. While the money does make a difference it’s not why I do this wacky Second Life music thing.
I want to talk about success and what I would consider success in my eyes. I’ve been spending a good deal of time chatting with a Second Life music veteran and she is quite emphatic about just how I should go about achieving success. She suggests I install myself in the music scene, and make myself known. Glad hand everybody, support somewhat suspect talent, and basically follow the formula for success Second Life style. In her scenario, my only hope for success is to play the game by the rules. But what success would it reap me?
I imagine, it would get me better spots on better gigs and probably more monies in fees. It would mean packed venues. It would mean large group membership. But this is not what I hope to attain. This is not what I’m working towards.
Actually, gauging my success by my ability to integrate myself into a community of musical posers would probably be the biggest personal failure I could aspire to. Humility be damned, I’m an artist. When I do my set, it falls between great and transcendent. My voice is unique, and my craft well honed. I’m sure 95% of the duffers I’ve seen promoted as “A BIG DEAL” in the Second Life scene, are not even aware of the fact music is a transcendent art form.
Or to put a sharper point on it, we are not on the same page because we are reading very different books.
While I view my music as unique, I also view people that really get it as unique. I see a small community that follows the vision, and this gives me hope. If I play two shows a day there are a hand full of people that show up at both shows. While the show has homogenized lately, they realize every performance is a chance to witness something amazing. They feel the desolation and rage of “The Passion of me”. The bitter melancholy of “Underground”. The sense of betrayal in “Twisted love song”. It’s not just cool songs, it’s life reflected and celebrated, or perhaps mourned.
In my case, it really is about the music. The fact Harrie dives to work listening to my songs means more to me then a packed venue. When somebody tells me how the song “The conversation wasn’t over” touched them, it means more to me then a big fee. When Susu puts in her profile picks she tries to see at least one of my shows a day, that means more to me then some tenuous membership is some imaginary community. The support of my friends means so very much to me.
My job, and in essence my success is basically getting my music in front of people. Letting them listen and decide how they will react to it. I cannot affect how they will react so positive or negative reactions mean nothing to me. My music is what it is, and you’ll either love it or don’t love it.
Unto the people that choose to love my music, my job is to slice off a bit of my soul and create new music for them to enjoy.
I’m currently working on a new release, “Songs in the key of Green”, and I’m quite pleased with the way it’s progressing. I’ve posted a preview page on the web site and so far 20 people have checked it out. While the word might not be impressed with the numbers, the fact that anybody bothered to check it out pleases me. The fact that 20 people chose to react to the information the page and the music it contains exist is a win in my opinion.
In the end I will prevail, and do so because I insist on defining my own success. Big crowds are nice. Big fees are nifty. But in the end integrity matters. If it’s not about the music it just a bunch of shit
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