Maybe she’s a dreamer… but it’s more likely she’s just crazy

I have a subscription to Skeptic magazine. While I don’t see myself as cynic, I am inclined to bouts of skepticism. One of the more popular topics in the magazine is cataloging the many predictions made by the psychically gifted that don’t seem to pan out.

I’m well aware that most predictions don’t prove out, but I’m about to make one. Note the date; note the time this entry was posted.

In mid June of the 2009, “MNP records” is supposed to be established. Once again, what MNP stands for is a matter of debate. I’m predicting it either won’t happen, or if some twisted fantasy version of a record company does happen it won’t live to see 2010 and will end in scandal.

I’m not basing this prediction on any extra sensory gift. I’m simply paying attention to what is being suggested and noticing it won’t work. Let me share my observations and see if you come up with the same conclusion.

I do have a sorted past with MNP, and you might think this is sour grapes. But even when I was involved, I made it clear I was not interested in participating in any record company Moody might cobble together.

Even though I didn’t seem interested, Moody, being the dreamer she is (see the title) was more then willing to tell me all about her master stroke. She’s not letting a small detail like the minuscule number of people actually interested in Second Life music in anyway deter her from her from pursuing her dream. I remember one of the MNP act boasting, “I’ve sold 26 MP3s this month”. Well I’ve sold 30 collections of MP3s this month, and I’m not starting a company.

Moody’s work around for not being able to actually sell music is corporate sponsorship. In her little dream world, some company would pony up major bucks to support a business that won’t make a dime for… promotional exposure.

Promotional exposure????

Hey, there are less there are between 20,000 and 90,000 online at any given time. While you could look at monthly log ons for a bigger number, almost everybody knows that number is bullshit. The majority of log ons come from recovering from a crash here.

While the over all numbers are pretty small. The live or semi-live music scene here reflects smaller numbers.

Most Sims have a occupation limit of about 40 avatars on the same parcel at the same time. While there might be 20 music events going on in an hour, if all of them hit the limit, it would only be 800 people in attendance.

Further dreaming, if you had 20 events, 24 hours a day, and all were just packed out you would have at the end of the day 19,200 people enjoying live music in Second life.

If we could keep this perfect attendance for a full month, 576,000 People would have been enjoying live music in Second Life. That is over a half a million people. Kind of… actually it would only be almost a half a million people if different people viewed every show.

But the scenario played out above is pure fantasy. The actual promotional impression sponsoring a record company in Second Life would generate is mathematically negligible.

I imagine Moody is trying to stir things up in hopes that something breaks loose for her. Frankly a lot of musicians like the idea of getting signed to a record contract due to their popularity in Second life. A lot of people in the “So-called” music community like the idea as well. It supports their point of view that the music scene in Second Life is vital and about to BLOW UP big time.

For the record, the music scene in Second Life is still very early in its development cycle. It’s not ready to be anything more then what it currently is, because the music scene more about Second Life then it is about music. There are some very talented musicians here, but the majority of popular acts are better at being sociable then playing music.

Now you may question my motives in posting about this topic. Part of the reason is to have something interesting to post on the Blog. But the bigger reason is because this is a scam and people get hurt in scams.

While there currently is no MNP records, it already has two Vice Presidents. I’ll not name names, but I know one of them is on un-employment, and waiting for Moody’s company to support her. At this point she may even be spending her meager savings just waiting for that ship to come in. There is no ship, so it’s never coming in.

Musicians are also being scammed. Musicians are by nature dreamers. And most dream of that magic someone that will usher them to “THE BIG TIME”. When someone says those five little words “I can get you signed”, all reason goes out the window.

In my short association with Moody, I came to the conclusion she is lying about her credentials as a music professional. She doesn’t have any fundamental understanding of business, and much less the music business. I once asked her about Harry Fox, and she said, “I don’t know any Harry Fox”. Harry Fox… or Harry Fox agency… or Harry Fox money is a common expression in the Music Biz. It’s in every record contract, either directly or by inference (also referred to as Mechanicals).

She also commented, “Good recording studios have “Sure mics”. Now I feel I should point out this is true, but really good recording studios have coffee makers too, and I’m convinced those coffee makers get more use then the “Sure mics”. Frankly, most bedroom studios have “Sure mics”, and the coffee maker is all the way in the kitchen. How can anybody work like that?

Now I don’t think Moody is evil. She is full of shit, and most people are at some level. She gets a lot of attention by pretending to be a mover and shaker in music. Her schemes get her even more attention, but people inclined to believe this crap are going to be crushed when it all turns to dust.

Further underlining the scamboogery of this whole deal, Moody’s two vice presidents in waiting have no experience at all in the music biz out side of their experiences in Second Life. Perhaps two years of running a venue in Second Life would get you an internship at a real record company, but why would a self proclaimed “Real life music professional” like Moody even consider installing two clueless buddies as Vice President? Because she’s not a real life professional anything and this is all make-believe.

But in the end… the disappointment of those involved will be quite real.

You can’t spell LAME with out L.E.M.A.

I feel I should point out two things at the outset of this entry. One, I’m pissed off, and two I have been officially deemed too arrogant to be a vital part of the Second Life music scene by a self-appointed arbiter of who gets to participate and who does not.

That being said… let talk about the L.E.M.A. or let’s just call it the “Lame music awards”. Have you heard about it? Lots of the “Ohhhhhh community types” are all atwitter about it… but frankly they spend most of their time being atwitter about something.

Now, I feel I should mention I was more the willing to look the other way on this bullshit, but even my outsider status does not insulate me from intrusion of those seeking to establish orthodoxy, and promote their own authority.

I’m playing a show today, and some jackanapes shows up with a “Lame music award” tag floating over his noggin. My initial reaction is one of “Oh fuck”. But then I say to myself, “Self, he must be interested in music. Perhaps he’s just here to enjoy the show”. But it turns out “Oh fuck” was the right answer. He was there to promote his agenda.

Shortly after the show, Lexie tells me this guy was talking to her about some kind of web page. Curious. I don’t know what she is talking about, but shortly I find out. He IM’s me with the same message. IM spam… how tacky. Seems the Lame music awards has a web site and it has a slide show of venues and performers at the bottom of the page. ANYBODY can be included in this slide show for free.

It sounds up front like free publicity. But that is not what it is.

It’s a puffy cat.

Have you ever seen a cat arch it’s back and poof out its fur? What that cat is trying to do is appear bigger then he really is.

This is what the Lame music awards are doing with their slide show. Trying to appear as if the whole community is underwriting their authority to bestow awards.

You see, “Oh fuck” was the right answer.

I told him I thought the Lame music awards were a joke and as the exchange of witty rejoinders came to a close, he gave me the oddly traditional chorus of, “Good luck with that attitude buddy” line.

I feel quite fortunate to have actual talent, because my attitude seems to be a sticking point with so many people. I don’t like to play along to get along, and if you like my music fine, and if you don’t fuck off. I don’t need an award to tell me my music is good, if I was unsure of the quality I would probably have management and write a blog about what I had for lunch.

The listeners and venues that support me are all the award I need, and in my point of view, the most valuable thing in Second Life.

Second life co-existing with reality

The title of this entry makes my head hurt. But I do have something to say and I’m going to “Spill it” even if it does give me that vertigo feeling you get when you contemplate the infinite.

Second life is a fantastic place. I don’t mean that as in “so good it’s fantastic” but rather anything you can imagine you can approximate.

People that can’t balance their check books run music venues, people with very questionable musical talents are virtual rock stars, and everybody’s personal ethstetic is reflected however they wish.

People willingness to embrace approximations is a great deal of Second Life’s charm. You can own a big house, a Harley Chopper, and have a crazy hot significant other. They aren’t real but they are real enough to enjoy.

This willingness to embrace approximations also reduces the music scene to little more then a social construct for the most part.

However there is a place where reality comes in and hollers “Booga booga booga”. At some level it takes “Real Money ™” money for Second Life to happen, and most the time that “Real Money ™” money comes from a place called… wait for it… real life.

If I didn’t see the possibility to make some “Real Money ™” money in Second Life I probably would not be involved. I’m not suggesting I’m driven by the collection of money, it really is music first for me, but to me “Real Money ™” money does matter.

I’ve got lawyers to feed.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to make a living with the skill set I’ve developed and that skill set revolves around music. Sometimes I do well, sometimes not so well. It’s not pure abstraction for me to look at Second Life and wonder, “How can I pry some “Real Money ™” money out of this thing”?

Of course it’s not just the money. I’m really seeking a situation that suits me ridiculously well, and for the most part, I’ve got it.

I play the music I write and love.

I play at least once a day.

I tour without leaving my home.

I get an approximation of “Rock star” attention and I’m addicted to attention.

I get to sell MP3s. I’m a recording artist without the need to please some monkey in a suit.

The music is real, the enjoyment people get from it is real, and yes… at the end of the day the “Real Money ™”money is real. My Second Life rock stardom dovetails nicely with my real life and real job, being a Daddy.

I’m aware… and at times it seems as if I’m to only one that is, that Second Life is not the next big pop culture phenomena.

It’s a very small pond, and I’m one of the tiniest fish in that pond. In spite of that, I’m a very happy tiny fish. There is plenty of tiny fish food… yummy.

Welcome to my Un-career

Ever since the departure of my Show tech, group membership is dropping. It’s doing what I like to call “Bleeding out”. Since you can only have 25 groups, there comes a time in each Second life’s resident life where they have to drop a group or two to make room for new groups they wish to belong to.

It’s normal and part of Second life’s questionable charm.

I’m sure the hardcore Zorch fans are still members and manifold blessing upon them. I love you guys. But those on the bubble are drifting away. That is actually cool. Because while from a career viewpoint it’s bad… it doesn’t seem to affect the shows I play. They are still well attended.

As a matter of fact, there is this theory the more you play the less you draw. However I can play three or four shows a day and have them all well attended.

There is also a school of thought that says you should play as many different venues as possible to get your music in front of new ears. I tend to play the venues I know, and give others a shot now and then. And while it defies conventional wisdom, I seem to be picking up new fans all the time.

So how is the “un-career” going?

Well I play a lot of shows, they are well attended, I make good tips, and manage to sell about a gig and a half of MP3s a month.

Another prominent feature of my “un-career” is my willingness to play “Tips only” shows. It seems the point of most careerist, is to get to a point they can demand a large fee and be well compensated for their time. I feel the compensation I get via Tips and MP3 sales are sufficient. Besides, I like playing. Every show a do is another chance to get it right and getting it right feels really good.

The more I think about it, the more having an “un-career” RAWKS.

I don’t have to play strip clubs for a fee.

I do get to play for venues that love to have me out and actually help them defray the cost of operation.

I don’t need somebody “Tag Nagging”.

But I do get to enjoy the people that consider group membership in the Zorch Nation worth one of their precious 25 slots.

I don’t have to play “Venue roulette” and hope the people that hired me to draw a crowd to their venue don’t “Harsh my buzz”.

I do get to play for venue owner that allow me to put on the best show I can with no petty bullshit to deal with.

The very best thing about having an “un-career”, is it can really be all about the music, and that is all I really value anyway.

This is MY blog

I write this blog alone. I don’t have a staff, or editors or advertisers to answer to. I don’t ever pretend to be fair or journalistic in my approach. While it seems people do read it, I don’t write it with the expectation that people will read it. Sometimes I write just to get something off my chest and in a large part that is why I’m writing today.

If you hate it when I do that… stop reading now.

I really feel IM’s that come along in Second Life should have a crazy meter on them. Something to warn you how whacked out the person sending you the IM actually is. If they had this feature I would have gotten fair warning as to the nature of cat Boucher’s… oh wait,

I better not user her real “fake name”, that might seem personal. Let’s call her Cat Blowhard.

If they had this feature I would have gotten fair warning as to the nature of Cat Blowhard’s “crazygram™” the other day.

Seems Cat was up set because I posted about some personal issue I have with Pere…oops, better use another fake “fake name”…. Let’s call him Pere-grim Sigh.

Cat is supposedly running some kind of charity thing and asked me to be involved. But my inability to keep private matters private made her think it would be better if we didn’t work together.

I agreed because I was setting up for a show, and wished her luck.

Then she went on and on, droning about how it’s all about the music and doing something for a good cause… blah blah blah. At this point… I’m pissed off.

For the record I don’t have issues with Pere-grim. He’s got enough of his own issues. The man has been wondering around second life lately making damn sure anybody that gave a rat’s ass about him no longer bothers.

The only thing I’ve posted about Pere-grim is awarding him a Zorchie as “The best instrumentalist that leaves Second Life forever about three times a day”. If he took offense at that, it’s his problem. Being a humorless prick is a problem.

Of course he’s got far more serious problems… but that is not my problem.

Now if I’m not mistaken, wasn’t it Cat’s public dumping of Pere-grim that caused him to move from his comfortable two bed room apartment in Eccentric-ville to a refrigerator box on the mean streets of Whacko-city? So in effect, I’m being dragged into the middle of Cat and Pere-grim’s psychotic apache dance in the name of Charity.

In the beloved words of American humorist Mark Twain, “Fuck that shit”.

I try to be a nice guy; I try to help out charitable causes. But there is a limit to my willingness to be exploited in the name of charity.

I’ve really gotta learn to put people on mute. There are some people I never want to hear from again.

Best rez day party evaaar

Wow, took me a while to get around to writing about this because I was simply so blown away by the fantastic time I had. My brain is still a bit fried honestly.

If there were a theme to the event, it would be “Community is where you find it”.

It was such a pleasure to be surrounded by my “Peeps”. There was so much positive energy that is was almost impossible to imagine the bullshit that seems so much part and parcel of the Second Life experience. For a moment I felt absolutely successful, and that is a very good feeling indeed.

Harrie did and outstanding job, as always, decking the place out with the proper decor. The supreme moment of decoration brilliance were the balloons that said, “I love you in a non creepy way”.

The release of “Shades of Blue” was remarkable as well. Not meaning to brag, but between sales and tips I made over 100$ American for the event. Did I mention that original artist should sell MP3s? They should. It seems to be a very viable alternative to hitting the venue operator up for a fee.

When I’m comfortable I play a great show, and there is at this point no place I feel more comfortable then at Pixel hill. While my set was stellar, I have to say every performer really brought their “A” game to the event. Even POL, who had already played one show and was totally tired and drunk, played the kind of set I admire him for. The fire, the passion. He really is the best. Everybody flat out RAWKED.

Of course, just about everybody won a Zorchie award, and really earned it that day. The really nice thing is people seem genuinely touched but the award. It is a patent token of my affection. The simple fact is, everybody involved already knew I thought they were the best of the best.

In retrospection, it’s been a profitable year for me in Second Life. I’ve seen a community grow before my eyes, and I feel great things lay ahead. We’ll not get rich and famous playing music in Second Life. But we can inspire, touch, and affect in a positive way so many with the gift of great original music.

In the glossy haze of good feelings it’s easy to say, “Second Life is Good”. But to keep my Second Life good is going to take a lot of work on my part. Of course I seem to have lots of help and support.

Thank you all so very much.

It’s award time baby…. Woot

Welcome to the first of many prestigious Zorchie awards ceremonies, held… on this blog because the Zorchies are nothing if not CUTTING EDGE.

The official Zorchie award committee picked all the winners and their decisions are final and binding. In other words, if you are really upset about this, your only option is death.

On to the categories and their winners.

Best support group in all of Second Life… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

The Zorch Nation

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

Best Singer Songwriter, guitar thumper, foot stoomper, kilt wearing vodka swilling, iconoclast. … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

POL Arida

Best Singer Songwriter, slide guitarist, parcel passing, pseudo blues man who is probably stealing POL’s car as we speak … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Blindboy Gumbo

Best three act line up in all of Second Life history … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

The Axis of Ego (POL Arida, Blindboy Gumbo, and Zorch Boomhauer)

The Best venue operator hosting Zorch release/rez day parties… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Harrie Skjellerup

The Best virtual coffee provider … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Nya Raymaker

The Best supportive hugger… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Kenton Morgath

The Best Angel kisses… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Teara Roux

The best photographer/graphic designer of blue theme Zorch MP3 collections… and the winner is…. (envelope please)
Talia Fournier

The best venue operator/ musician that floats all over the place like a crazy pixie… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Senjata Witt

Best new female performer whose first name kind of rhymes with “Sexy” … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Lexie Luan


The Best actual band… meaning more the one person in the same room playing music together, not a dude playing a song, shooting it down the stream for some other dude to play some tasty licks over…anyway… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

The Rails

Best double stream not including tasty lick played over a repeating chord pattern… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Zorch/Senjata

Best instrumentalist that leaves Second Life forever about three times a day… and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Peregrine Singh

Best Blog about the Second Life music scene … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Get Zorched

Best web site covering the Zorch Boomhauer Experience. … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Zorchboom.com

Best Blog readership in the whole world … and the winner is…. (envelope please)

Go look in the mirror, you’re a winner baby.

And the winner is… who cares???

People tend to come to me when they have a scandal they want to blow the lid off. I really don’t know why. Because of this odd phenomenon somebody buttonholed me and started telling me about some kind of Live music award and all the political shenanigans going on …dunt dunt daahhhh… behind the scenes.

I told them I’m not interested in the details thank you very much.

I’m not trying to be ruder then normal so I hope it does not come across that way. However, telling me there are politics involved in some lame ass award is much like telling me shit stinks.

Putting this all in perspective, all awards do more to validate the authority of the presenting organization then honor the winner. They are establishing the orthodoxy again…. well, they aren’t so much establishing it as much as hijacking it.

Should I be upset? Should I do something about this? Naaaah. Frankly giving this a point-by-point expose of the hypocrisy would be more attention then it deserves.

But it seems to me some grand artistic gesture needs to transpire. Some metaphorical mooning must take place. The bird must be flipped with vigor at the posturing jackasses.

Okay….

I’m announcing the “The Zorchie awards”.

The awards will be given out on… March 16th, and to find out who won what, drop by the old blog. While I’ll admit the award committee consists of just me, I think you’ll find the winners quite deserving.

Keep your fingers crossed, I think I have a good chance at winning “Best Blog about Zorch written by Zorch”.

Oh this could be fun.

Getting tired of the “CRAZY”

Today I was enjoying a show when somebody I’ve never even heard of IM’ed me and informed me how out of line I was about what I had posted about them.

I’ve never heard of this person, what could I have posted about them?

Then he or she informed me, they were a LIVING LEGEND in second life.

I pointed out I had never heard of them, and they just dismissed me as being new.

Now I may well be new… kind of, but I have been paying attention. One thing I’ve noticed is that people tend to want to believe things are a lot more developed then they really are.

They most popular act in all of second life is known by name by less then 1% of the total population. And while there are more people online at any given time then are wondering around my living room, if Second life were a town it would be a small town, with a population between 40,000 and 80,000 people.

The biggest event attendance wise, I’ve ever seen was 86 people, on the same Sim at the same time. This is not even enough people to have the fire marshal close down a bar in Five Points.

Live music in Second life is a very small fish in a very small pond. And for the record, I’m a very tiny fish in a very small pond. I’m not as delusional as many seem to think I am. I do think I’m amazingly talented and probably one of the very best original musicians Second life has to offer, but my appeal is limited and this is a very small pond.

Playing the music I love for an hour for 20-35 people, works for me. I make a little money and sell a bunch of MP3s. My music becomes part of somebody’s life. One of my critics suggested only 40 some odd people really care about my music at all. This was meant to put me in my place, how ever, the fact that people care is far more important to me then the number.

Music in Second life as it stands is not a cultural force. It’s a social construct that sometimes actually revolves around music.

Zorch 3:16 in bounding … tracking done

Well I’ve come to my favorite part of recording. Tracking is done. This means all the performances are recorded and I know what is going to be on the collection. Would you like to know what to expect? I thought you might.



I’m In Love With Jennifer Wells
Falling From Grace
Tiny Town
The Stubborn Old Man
Candy Cane
Hide Your Tears
Uncle Dan
Howard Roark and Me
Everything You Know
Rock is Dead

That is ten songs for 1,000 Linden Dollars… wait… 999 Linden Dollars. Lets make it a wobbly number. WHAT A BARGAIN!!!!

Now I’m sure somebody is commenting, “hey Zorch I thought you were going to put 12 songs on this collection you lazy bastard”. Hey… I’m an arrogant bastard not a lazy one. And there will actually be more then 12 songs in this collection. I’m including something I refer to as “The oddity bin” with this collection just to peg the fun meter.

What is in the oddity bin? Well read on if you want to ruin the surprise.

Gay Bananas
Bad Men Do Nasty Things
Sadness
Bad Haircut

These songs are kind of… different. Maybe you’ll dig them, maybe you won’t. Did I mention they are in the oddity bin?

Of course I’m also having a shindig at Pixel Hill, with some of my friends, and I have a bit of a change with that. Originally, Peregrine was suppose to play, but he’s been having some personal issues and seems to leave Second Life forever at least once a day. Filling the gap left by Peregrine will be Lexie Luan, kicking off her debut at Pixel Hill. Should prove interesting.

Why all the hub-bub? Couldn’t we do with a little less bub, perhaps less hub? Nay says I, it’s my very first rez day and it’s been a freaking eventful year. Many cool things have happened and there has been plenty of drama unfolding. It’s only right to have a blow out.

Is it quite in here… or is it just me???

Okay I know I have not blogged in a while, but it’s not because I’m a lazy bastard… at least not this time.

I’ve been working rather hard on getting my next collections of MP3s ready to roll on March 16th. The title is “Mantled in a deeper shade of blue” and my hearts desire is to get 12 songs in the collection to represent the 12 months I’ve spent in Second life. March 16th is my rezday, and I’m attempting one of my blow out to celebrate Zorch 3:16.

So let me catch you up on what is happening.

Hey …my 15 minuets of fame has been hijacked!!!!

A while back, I was talking to some woman… or more to the point she was talking to me. I was not really paying much attention because I’m kind of drifty after a show. She was talking about some kind of web cast TV show about live music in second life. And while nodding my head politely it seems I agreed to be involved with it.

I’ve gotta start paying attention.

Anyway, the good news is I really didn’t have to do anything to be involved… and doing nothing is something I’ve got quite a talent for. The bad news is the woman doing the show got my name wrong every time. Zork? Who the fuck is Zork?

The silver lining in all of this is I don’t think anybody actually watches this show. I’ve never heard of it before I was contacted to be on it. I’m sure they mean well. Literacy is something some people take for granted.

POL RULES THE WORLD

Well he’s a finalist in some kind of international songwriting competition. Of course he probably won’t win, simply because gold sinks and shit floats.

But it’s one of those “you can vote” deals, so get behind the cause and do your part. If you missed out on my group notice with the attachment and want the details just IM me in world and I’ll send you the note card Harrie sent me.

And much more

Yeah… there is probably a lot o’ stuff I’m forgetting. Some people are cool, some people are crazy as a shit house rat.

Life goes on, and so do I. For the time being at least.

I’ll be playing shows and workings on the next release so expect the Blog to be a neglected for a while.