What a long freaking day

Okay it’s 2 am and I finished my last show about an hour ago. I’m always a bit wound up after a show but this is ridiculous. I’m frankly beat to death. And I might imagine my lack of élan may be due to the fact I seem to be working so hard and achieving so little.

I started my long journey to the end of the day with an impromptu show with POL. It was very informal and held at the WAM tv building. I’m frankly amazed the draw POL Yes he is the best singer/songwriter in Second Life, but he only plays at Noon, and I’ve not seen him do two shows in one day. He also seems to have a few days off.

I on the other hand believe “Hard work pays off”. But it doesn’t seem to. I play around the clock as often as I can in a seemingly vain effort to establish myself. But in retrospect, it seems my success has nothing to do with my effort. I played with POL, lots of people show up, and only a few of them poofed when I started to play. Then I had a show at “Roscoe village” and I’ve gotta tell you I’m thinking about canceling the rest of my bookings there. Five people showed up, consisting of four group members and the guy hosting the show. Some people popped in and out but they came and went so fast I don’t think they had time to form an opinion.

The day ended at “The Falls”. I like this venue. Most of the show there was double-digit attendance. During the end of the show… when the next act was due to play the place packed out. The next act was late, so I got to play in front of his much larger crowd.

Now don’t think I’m discouraged, because I’m not. Some days are very progressive and good things happen. I’m tired now so I might seem discouraged but I’m not here to whine.

I’m just thinking maybe I need to realize it’s time invested that seems to pay off in Second Life and you can’t rush things by grinding away at a maddening pace. While I’m booked up for the moth, and double booked on some days, next month I might want to back it down a little.

I feel my repertory is improving. My performances are pretty solid. Things at my end seem ready for the world. I have to accept the fact my act is not going to be popular with every Avatar that sees me play. It’s going to take a while for me to find my “Peeps”, and while in theory playing my ass off with get me in front of more people that might be receptive to my songs, in practice that does not seem to be the case.

I’m feeling pretty close to burn out. Of course this could be due to the small swarm of real life issues I face on a daily basis. Right now I’m thinking I need to back it down a bit. But who knows what I’ll feel tomorrow.